Two years and I'm totally BEYOND titles now, thank you very much.

Some during my trip to Tenerife, my blog turned two years old.

I can assume it partied hard and is now visibly pregnant, for all the attention I've given it.

On August 13th I was sat around in hospital with a swollen knee and a disfigured face, and it wasn't until the day after that I remembered that I was supposed to be weeping with happiness that I'd managed to keep something other than my goldfish (who died) alive for more than two weeks.

And so I broke out the cake.



Yeah. I had IRL blogging cake.

Awesome.

I can't remember why I started blogging. I used to write blogs on all my different social website ma-thingies and then I saw this ah-mazing thing called BLOGGER which looked cool.

I quit the next day.

And then a month later I joined up again. I actually remember the day I joined up pretty well because it was the same day that I'd gone to pick my brother up from court AGAIN for socking a police officer in the face.

I think I was pretty cryptic about it on my first post. I was worried about what was safe to tell and for the first fourteen months I was actually anonymous under the name of a song I like that happens to be German and also a wee bit (read: very) goth.

Not anymore.

I lay EVERYONE'S shit bare, like the darling girl I am.

Back in ye olde days when I'd write about the time Aaron tried to play-rape (yeah, we have such a thing here) Joe and the dinner ladies walked in...

Or the time I stuffed a bin bag full of grass to make it look like I'd done some work when I was picking up trash around school when we were put on litter duty.

Such rebels we were.

Or even about the time my darling niece announced I was pregnant to an entire restaurant.

And more recently about how I spectacularly lost my shit in HMV and then in my local store because I was asked for ID to buy a Cert 15 DVD. (DO I LOOK 14?!)

But since then I haven't been writing all that much. Why's that?

Well I haven't been doing anything. I haven't been to school since the beginning of May and I haven't done anything interesting that I can remember since then.

But hopefully that'll change pretty soon. I'm going back to Fulford School's sixth form (I'll explain that on Friday) on Friday, and I'm on a residential trip the week after (so I'll be absent - no phones or MP3 players or ANYTHING allowed on site. I'll just DIE) but after that I'll be back to business. Promise.

Anyway, how can I give up on a blog that gets hits from searches such as 'men in tights sex' and 'dog sofa'.

That would be CRAZY, but not my kind of crazy.