The hand of frog is collecting your items.

I have never laughed so hard at a newspaper as I did this morning:

THE HAND OF FROG

God bless Thierry Henry and all who sail in him. (Though, seriously... It's FOOTball, not HANDball, son.) In case you missed it there's been a big controversy with Thierry Henry (Ex-Arsenal[YEAH!], now playing for Argentina) hitting a ball with his hand when playing against the Irish in football. D'oh.

There's lots going on in he blogging world at the moment, isn't there? Crissy's Big Pussy introduced us to a mouse that looked like it'd seen the inside of hell, Andy started dating a (lovely) French guy, Jay's beard is preparing to undergo a FIERCE transformation (Mutton chops? Please?) and Jassie graduated.

Phwoar. Busy busy busy.

Me? I've been working.

This is actually very cunning timing on my part. I chose my hours based upon when I was most likely to go apeshit with my mum's money and go see New Moon a million times like I did with Twilight, and so when everyone else was out watching awesome hair being all emo-ish, I was picking tickets at Argos.

Sounds thrilling, no? No sarcasm: it actually WAS awesome. I have my own locker and badge and shirt and ID and everything.

I spent last time learning the layout of the warehouse and scaling the dizzy heights to get top shelf items (I instantly hate orders that require me to go to the top shelf at any time - it's 15ft high) and generally had a great time just doing stuff. This morning I went in and worked on collection, which is amazing because when 30-part orders come through we all congregate, get tickets and then bolt in different directions. Awesome.

The best moment had to be last night when we were tidying up the stockroom, and I was putting away ladders. One was huge and didn't have a second set of wheels so I went to let it stand, it fell, I tried to grab it, got dragged down and landed with THE LOUDEST CRASH I've ever caused:

Me: Shi-ouch... Erm. WHUPS!

Person: *across the storeroom* You okay?!

Me: Yeah... Where do I put the big ladders?

Person: Just on the floor will do.

Me: Ahh ok. That's where it landed.

Person: Umm... where are you?

Me: Under it.

Excellent moment in my own personal history, truly.

I'm working again tomorrow, which is great because you get paid half again on Sundays, and then me and Lemon are going to see New Moon, because Lemon is my amazing Twilight buddy who doesn't do anything dickish whilst the film's running, unlike SOME people. *cough, cough*BFF Main Gay.5*cough*

Sadly - or not - I haven't had chance to do any homework this weekend, but hey, at least I'm not bored.

Just call me Harry Potter.

I woke feeling weird this morning. Wide awake, nothing in my head, comfy. Not usual things for me. I checked the clock... 7.19am. I closed my eyes and settled back down again.

And about two minutes later my eyes flew open again.

First day at work today getthefuckoutofbedfuckshitcrappissandbollocks...

I'm a tad neurotic first thing on a morning.

At any rate, I ended up being twenty minutes early. If I knew I was being paid today I would've gone straight to the store, but instead I headed to McDonald's were I had the shock of my life...

"Hey, a small fries please?"

"Umm... We don't have any fries."

Since when have McDonald's not had any fries!?

*hyperventilating* "What... the hell... happened?"

"We're on the breakfast menu at the moment."

Oh. OH!

Whew. Almost had a moment there.

I got covered in grease and salt and walked into the store feeling pretty crumby. Apparently it didn't show.

Let me describe this particular store to you lovely American/Australian people. Basically, instead of having of having shelves of products on the shop floor and stuff, you have a big catalogue, and you choose what you want, pay for it and then suddenly, out of the tens of thousands of items that are hidden away - presumably in a hole in time and space - you receive your item. It's amazing.

It's like... one of the biggest mysteries of the modern world - it defies science. Probably.

Anyhoo, you have to imagine that all these items are stored somewhere. You can't just conjure these things out of thin air the way I thought they did for SO long it's embarrassing (up until I was about eight I thought this place was magical. Now I just think it's awesome).

Today, I came face-to-face with the single most daunting warehouse I have seen in my short history of seeing warehouses (though anything that looks like it requires effort is a daunting prospect to me).

Have you seen Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire, where they're in the maze?



To my mind, that was EXACTLY what it was.

Sadly I don't think vines are going to start shooting out of the shelves and rip Rob Pattinson's clothes off, though for a moment there I could've sworn it was about to happen.

Anyhoo, I snacked on muffins and cookies whilst watching videos about how to deal with fires (apparently "run the other way" isn't quite right) and violent customers (ditto "sock 'em one") and then I went on my way.

Awesome, easy day of non-work with funny people that I get paid for.

I love this place.

There is, sadly, one little detail that renders this post bittersweet...

I may have signed up to work hours next week that totally wipe out any plans to go see N-N-N-New Moon on Friday or Saturday.

So it'll be Sunday before I get to see it. That's crap. That's two days after it'll be released. When Twilight came out in cinemas, I'd seen in three times before the third day of release.

This will not do.

Anyways, I've got it planned to go with the lovely Lemon, who I have already dubbed as an ah-may-zing Twilight cinema buddy, and we will be great.

I'm totally wearing my Twilight t-shirt next week. (Oh yeah, I have one of those = SAD)

What you waiting for?

I may or may not have been listening to Gwen Stefani on full blast for the last twenty minutes or so.

Regardless, this day is still very good...

1. I took my camera into school.



I totally forgot about it until I was walking to the university, but it was still nice to have it with me besides. The good times came marching in.

2. It was sunny.



The sun! The sky! Bright! Blue! HUZZAH! It was warm too! Well, warm for a Northern English March anyway. Me, Tilda and Anna ended up lying on the grass outside, it was so sunny. (Then the stupid big-ass cloud came along and it was FREEZING, but we won't focus on that...)

3. I got to play dress-up with Jess and Cherry.



In history me and Cherry went the ENTIRE WAY in terms of Native American Indian-ness. Then we wore it all for the rest of the day. Brilliant.

4. I got my IMedia files back from the ICT office.



Yep. Yesterday I filmed Aaron, Izzie and Tilda dancing around in Lycra and various other degrees of undress (seriously, Aaron nearly stripped off) and today after much discussion with the ICT technicians they gave me the files back. How awesome is that?

5. A certain movie poster has been released...



Yeah. We're talking New Moon, people.

Feel the glory.

That picture in itself makes me feel sad because I know that book a little too well...

Poor Edward.

And now, in the throws of pitying vampires, I must silence myself.

I'm a comic genius...

(click picture to enlarge)

Apologies for this... When I drew it out in rough (anything I draw is rough) the one that's meant to be me looked a little less demonic...

---

I'm not sure when Lent is... My life is that devoid of belief, but I know that it's sometime soonish, so I have a plan that will make my life very interesting and purposeful over the next forty days and nights. I am going to do a total of forty things that I don't usually do.

Drawing a comic for my blog was number 24 on my list, but it was the most fun-looking, so I decided to start with it.

Enjoy!