The Filling And The Carbon-dated Toothbrush*

*Which Stephen Fry has since informed me is made from coal and water and oxygen. Thou Shalt Not Question Stephen Fry.

Alors.. Today I had to go to... The Dentists.

I appreciate flowers, monetary donations and cards from well-wishers. Industrial-size bricks from those who wish me harm. Thank you.

I had to go get a filling because even at the strange age of seventeen I still need dentists to tell me that coke is baaad.. ('Tis bullshit, I'm convinced.)

I refused the injection because 'I don't like needles' - not entirely true. I just don't like needles THERE - and got an absolutely repulsed look from the assistant nurse when she saw my right ear**/*** and it all got worse from there.

So he started drilling and hacking away at my tooth without a care in the world whilst I - unnumbed and with very, very sensative teeth (OH MY GOD STOP BLAMING THE COKE) - shrieked and jumped and had to be held down by the assistant (who I suspect may have had army training in the last four years) until it was over. I swear she nearly broke my nose shoving the weird sunglasses they use on my face.

So. That put me off sugar for all of three hours. Now I want to be an erotic baker. More on that as it happens.

**My right ear.. just for you.

***And my left ear, just for the hell of it.

And so it ends.

My thirty days are up, and the month has ended much as it began. With piercings, red hair and packages.

This morning the postman woke me up, but I was so comfortable that I left my inevitable packages to chance and refused to move, open my eyes or even acknowledge anything sensory until 2pm.

My neighbours, The Brick People took my package in for me like good elderly insane people. I went over to their door expecting one package reasonably sized package.

No.

Now, you know how I love me some package? How I go insane if they're BIG BOXES and if there's more than one?

Three big packages! HUZZAH!

Three drinking games, one of which is so complicated I'd need to be sober to play it, and very, very drunk to do any of the forfeits.

I got a good deal on hair dye.. and dyed my hair back to it's usual bright red. I'll post a picture tomorrow.

And finally I'm on the curb of being bollocked for having more than one pair of earrings at work. I'm sorry, boss, but I've got a really big thing about being restricted. It's a perfect equilibrium. My BRIGHT FUCKING HAIR covers eleven of my piercings*, my nose piercing gets me more compliments than glares, I do my job well and they don't exactly slow me down. LEAVE ME ALONE.

Gaahhhhh...

More on that when I get yelled at.

*Eleven ear piercings (Three cartilage, one conch, seven lobe), left nostril, upper navel, lower navel.

I are clever.

I have been on my feet for 10 hours, but I will not rest!

Behold:

.Click.

Yes. That is Nicole's spanking new Videojug site for body piercing.

Let's see how this one turns out.

Art Bart Cart Dart Eart Fart. *parrrrp*

I'm giving NaBloPoMo another stab (*stab* *stab* *stab* WAR CRY) this month and it'll be my fourth fifth (fucking hell) NaBloPoMo, so as my über-Führer boss-man would say, "Let's all get behind this please".

Kidding. You have my full permission to ignore my ramblings for the full month.

The theme be ART. I like ART. Particularly body art but I'm pretty sure you've heard all about that by now.

I've been getting many many packages lately. Yesterday I got two, today I got two. Tomorrow I'll probably get two more. Heil Amazon. (Note to self: Stop it with the Nazi references)

I'm probably world famous for my Amazon wishlist. I spent all month Windows (C) shopping (oh har har..) and as soon as I get paid, usually before lunchtime on the very same day, I spent at least £160 (about $200) on things I've hoarded on Amazon, and then get über restless whilst I wait for them to arrive. It was even worse this time because they very conveniently placed a bank holiday RIGHT where my delivery would've been. The slags.

So that's all from me for now. I'm feeling way too controversial today.

Church-burning thundercunts*

*This isn't an athiest rant, I apologise. Church-burning thundercunts just became my new favourite thing.

I've been feeling more hungover than Satan's ballsack because I had my happy pills upped and they've made me go all dopey. I can't concentrate, I can't work fast and I feel so tired it's just unreal.

I was lovingly reminded yesterday by Denny that I'd said I'd go with her to get her ears pierced for the first time and I'm SO glad we went. There is nothing funnier/scarier/more shitshouldIbravethelasermachine? than watching her go all woozy and bleed really dramatically (I'm talking dripping everywhere, running-down-her-neck dramatic) over a lobe piercing.

So so so proud of her though. I was freaking the hell out when I got mine done the first time.

I had a few minutes of absolute childlike euphoria when sat on the piercing bed as it moved around (it can do 360s) and we both walked out feeling spacey and full of metal studs. Denny from her lil' episode (sorry to be patronising my darkling) and me from the freezer fluid.

It was so cool being able to watch a piercing being done without having to be the subject. There's only so much you can pick up from peripheral vision. I ask my piercer (once again, he's mine, you can't have him) again about him teaching me to pierce, and I'm so much more optimistic now than I was before. Just things like being told that he *will* teach me about anatomy, rather than that he *would* teach me *if* he took me on, and when can I *start*?

START?!!! Oh Gawd. Heaven.

The only crap-mound in the meadow of life is that I have to stay at work to pay off the fees. Work don't like piercings, at the studio I'd need to stock up on them.

I don't understand the stigma against piercings. At work the quota is one set of earrings and one small nose stud maximum. No facial piercings, stretches have to be disguised, keep your hair colour normal. Just.. no individualism what so ever.

There's not much you can say through your work uniform. Nicole, Customer Advisor. Looks tired, messy, trousers are dusty, has cuts and bruises all over from working in the stockroom - clumsy.

As it stands, I have bright red messy hair, wear bright orange/purple make up, and don't particularly enjoy being challenged when in comes to being and expressing myself.

I feel awesome today.

Round-up.

So what's been happening around here?

I went to Slovenia for eight days.

I got my exam result (note the singular). I got a U, but it was a high U so it was more like a U* and overall it comes out as a C so I've passed, which really makes no difference to me.

I'm still working on my mum to give me £3000 for body-piercing-training reasons.

I'm back at work. Joy to the fucking world.

And yesterday I gave my nephew a makeover.

I keep having panic attacks, I need my meds taking up a notch.

And finally... The return of the penis pasta.

Miniature disasters and minor catastrophes.

I'll be honest, I suck at writing about the big stuff that happens, so there probably won't be a Sonisphere recap that is anything other than pictures of me in my festival hat (worship it..), awesome hair and my cool-person shades.

Fig. 1 - all of the above.

I might just leave it at that. Sonisphere was awesome. I met Lacuna Coil (!), I saw Alice Cooper, Iron Maiden and a million other fab bands in one weekend and got pissed off my tits every other night religiously.

Captain! Iceberg ahead!

Ahem.

SURPRISE BONG TENT!

Aaaanyway. This was meant to be a few tidbits of random shizzle that's been a-happenin', so yeah.

I got my seventh, eighth and ninth piercings yesterday. Two helix piercings (upper ear) and a lower naval piercing. I got chatting to my piercer (who is awesome and funny and I love him and OMG SO AWESOME) and he said he'd take me on as an apprentice for three thousand pounds.

That's reasonable I think. It's £1500 for an intensive 11-day course in Oxfordshire. £3000 for three years as an apprentice in my favourite shop in the world where I'll be learning something I love seems too awesome to be true.

And I'm going to Slovenia in four days for exactly one tweeble which looks to be awesome, too.

Alors.. I shall see you when I get back if not before I set off. Adios!

Tales from.. erm.. whatever day it is. *Edited*

Today is Tuesday a.k.a. Shrink Day so I went trundling down to see my person and talked for an hour about life, the universe and everything and ended up drawing how I felt today and it was pretty strange, I think:

The idea was meant to be that I felt like stuff wasn't so important. York could get bombed and people would still be eating pizza in Venice or hunting Justin Beiber for sport in Texas.

You heard it here first.

Anyway. I left the Shrinkses in a pretty good mood, for once. It was raining in an awesome kind of way, with huge raindrops that didn't fall too often but when they did it was like.. SPLAT, soaked, fuck you. It was AWESOME.

I went around pricing up piercings for a while before realising that there was only really one place I wanted to go to, so I ended up at my favouritest piercing studio EVARR for the second time in two days and got the lovely greeting of "'Ello you! You're here a lot aren't you?"

Awesome. I'm loved.

As I sat waiting for him to prep, I was reeling at the fact that my piercer (He's mine now. You can't have him) has approx. twelve piercings in one ear. TWELVE.

That's ten more than me! Shit!

So, today, on a whim, I got my fifth and sixth piercings.

I'm a bit iffy about needle piercings (you have needles and you have guns. Guns are baaaaad, but they hurt less) because my ears were gunned, my naval was done by needle and so was my nose and fuck if that didn't hurt like a blowfish TO THE FACE, so he told me he'd freeze over my ears (I just noticed that 'ears' is an anagram of 'arse' - vital information) beforehand.

Mayhem ensued.

*spraying starts*

"I suppose you'll charge me more if I get high of the fumes."

"Probably."

"Pleh.. Woah, it's in my mouth."

"You want your tongue pierced?"

"Not today tha- SHIT! I didn't take my other earrings out. Shit shit shit! They're FREEZING."

"I can't help you."

"Ffffffferk! Get'emoutget'emout!"

"If I touch them, I'll get stuck to them."

"Ah. Right."

"It'll wear off."

"Cool."

*Pause*

"..Ice cool."

*Huff*

And I've totes promised myself that if I save my money I can have four more at the end of the month.

I rock my own socks.