The Filling And The Carbon-dated Toothbrush*

*Which Stephen Fry has since informed me is made from coal and water and oxygen. Thou Shalt Not Question Stephen Fry.

Alors.. Today I had to go to... The Dentists.

I appreciate flowers, monetary donations and cards from well-wishers. Industrial-size bricks from those who wish me harm. Thank you.

I had to go get a filling because even at the strange age of seventeen I still need dentists to tell me that coke is baaad.. ('Tis bullshit, I'm convinced.)

I refused the injection because 'I don't like needles' - not entirely true. I just don't like needles THERE - and got an absolutely repulsed look from the assistant nurse when she saw my right ear**/*** and it all got worse from there.

So he started drilling and hacking away at my tooth without a care in the world whilst I - unnumbed and with very, very sensative teeth (OH MY GOD STOP BLAMING THE COKE) - shrieked and jumped and had to be held down by the assistant (who I suspect may have had army training in the last four years) until it was over. I swear she nearly broke my nose shoving the weird sunglasses they use on my face.

So. That put me off sugar for all of three hours. Now I want to be an erotic baker. More on that as it happens.

**My right ear.. just for you.

***And my left ear, just for the hell of it.

I can't think of a title because I'm listening to Queen again.

So you think you can love me and leave me to dii-iii-iie..?!

Today I worked my heel off.

Yeah. The sole of my right heel is gone now.

Le ouch.

(Seriously though. Send icecream and hugs)

Today I got to be a really annoying person because my boss sent me and a woman from work out into the wide world to jump in front of shoppers and push flyers at them.

Ultimately, we got rid of 200 in forty minutes in the freezing cold and wind and got driven off by the management at Asda (grr).

It was crippling. You put your heart on the line, offer them a leaflet and then when they brutally turn you down, you are convinced you are totally unloved and that you'll never put your heart on the line like that again in this lifetime.

There is nothing more pitiful than a girl in their work uniform wearing a fleece maybe three sizes too big for her, windswept, clutching a stack of flyers and limping (raw feet from 22 hours of working around the stockroom and assembling well over 2000 orders SINGLE-HANDED/FOOTEDLY over the course of four days).

Don't talk to me about work ethic.