I know. I'm shocked too.

Horrified that I left a post about pool lanes fester at the top of my blog for a full month. What a crappy subject, I mean, really, Nicole? Nothing better to write about? Nothing? Nothing at all?

[Courtesy of the niiiice kitties at icanhazcheezburger.com]

Well. Bugger me.

We're in March now. J. H. Christ, how did that happen? I've been in bed for the last week. Not enough trade to justify my presence at work. Nice to see I have a life outside of work.

There's just one tiny thing I need to get off my chest:

First of all, aren't we all just SO excited about the royal wedding? I mean, OMG, it's SO EXCITING. So happy I could just bleed to death, right here at my desk. Grr. It's all I hear about. MSN actually has a page dedicated to every. little. sordid. detail. And if I see one more TV advert for a Royal Wedding Decorative Plate, I may just die. Twice.

...Though the condoms they made were pretty damn funny.

On the plus side, the prince is going bald. I swear he's not even thirty yet.

/End Transmission/

Seattle is back on the agenda! Looks set to be some time in 2013 (And I'll be twenty years old. Shit.). Norway-Sweden-Finland next summer - The Great Roadtrip me and Hubs have been planning for ages.

Slovenia (woot woot!) this summer. I can't remember if I've talked about Slovenia, but I do miss it. I miss the warmth and the torrential downpours and thunderstorms and huge vegetables and delicious fruit in my great-aunt's garden. I miss the dogs, Sena and Ika, I miss speaking Slovene. I miss my auntie Katra and her excellent cooking and her casual swearing.

And also I've applied to college. Though that gives me fuel for tomorrow, so I'll go into that then.

Ta-ta for now.

Just call me St. Bedlam The Fifth

Last night I came across some very strange happenings... All of which were very conveniently happening on the screen on my laptop.

Exhibit A: @Exorcist



So... yes. Apparently Kurt Cobain invested in Tweetie and indeed an iPhone before popping his clogs.*

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Exhibit B: Relatively painless



They were wrong. That homework took years of my life away from me.

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Exhibit C: Why, hello Nicole...



This has gone too far. I understand that she's being helpful and everything, but that scared the shit out of me.**

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Today marked the end of an era. Today was in fact the end of the world as we know it. Today was also Mother's Day, but I pretty much forgot about that until I found myself cleaning the windows from FOUR STORIES UP - this way, my mum proved that what the good Mum giveth, the good Mum can taketh away.

But that's not what I'm here to talk about.

Today I was minding my own business... Strolling around Morrisons*** and slyly looking for something to buy my mum. There was nothing unusual about this...

And then... I saw it.

It was quite big.

It was bold. (bright pink, in fact)

It was also £3.99 and at arm's length.

It had to be.

Sleepless In Seattle.

You could practically hear the tiny little strings of reason in my mind coming undone. One. By. One.

After messing around with Kel, Bunny and Rhiley for a couple of hours I sat down with my beloved laptop (it's sexual) and watched my newest DVD...

After cracking up every couple of minutes, realising that OhMyGodThatGuyPlaysThePresidentInInpendenceDay and shrieking 'LOOK! IT'S PIKE PLACE MARKET!' at the laptop like it didn't already know, I emerged inspired, enlightened and otherwise a better person for watching the film everyone at school has been referencing since the dawn of time it seems.

And that is how I lost the last of my dignity.

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*Siiiiick. Kurt Cobain is awesome. And we don't need a gun review site in his name... We all know that the gun was effective.

**This isn't the first time either.

***Supermarket Of The Damned.