The walls fall down.

None of the remotely cheerful today. I'm not in the mood.

Hey, how are you?

I'm great, thanks, you?

I'm..

..So tired I made myself sleep until 6pm to pass the day. A day filled with nothing. A day that I wanted that way because I'm not just tired, I'm drained mentally, physically and emotionally because *it's* always there, not doing anything, just crushing and draining and demanding.

..So wrecked I burst into tears in the shower. I can only be so happy for everyone else.

..So immobile that I lied and said that I couldn't go to meet with my most favourite people ever because I was shifting furniture. I was sat in my room.

..An awful friend. But not enough to care. Which is where I know that I'm not 'Me' as I want to be anymore.

..Full of hate and anger and frustration and misery that just sits and seethes in all the awkward places. At the back of my neck, in my knees and elbows, under my fingernails, in every pore and joint.

..Sure that I've lost the best thing I had going for me.

..Aware that I've got so much worse that even a dose high enough to soothe pretty severe depression has become 'not nearly enough'. I have to see a psychologist, a doctor and a psychiatrist regularly, which sucks butt because they're looking for stuff that just isn't there.

..Not even bored.

I'm fine, thanks.