A tally of heartbreak.

Days since break up: 32

Times spent in the bath listening to Adele: 2

Times spent listening to The Winner Takes It All: 1. NEVER AGAIN.

Times I've caught myself saying "My boyfr- My ex-boyfriend": Up in the 40s.

Times I've browsed the self-help section in the bookshop: 4

Cigarettes smoked: Upwards of 180

Chocolate bars consumed: God. Thousands.

New cravings discovered: 3 (Butterkist toffee popcorn, sparkling water and cheeseburger-and-chips combos from college)

Number of messages saved as drafts: 12

Hours spent crying: 5. Go me!!

Rebound sex: Nil. Nix. Nada.

Weight change: -12lbs. And yet I can feel a double chin forming.

Nights spent talking to him since break up: 30.