Il pleut à vache qui pisse*, and other awesome French phrases.

People tell me I'm a miserable cow.

These people are no longer living, I am in fact a Vicious Ninja Cow With Nine Acid-Shooting Udders.

Yeah, and don't you forget it.

Moooo-ving on - ouch - I'm actually a shiny happy person, and if I'm scowling or moping it's for a good reason.

Did I rush past you in the corridor? You're walking too slow.

Am I staring morosely at the floor? The bar in the common room ran out of flapjacks.

Am I scowling at you from across the street? You're wearing crocs.

It's all very simple, and so am I.

I am SO easy to please, a free period, a good song being played in the common room, discovering that twitter has been unblocked for sixth formers at school, it all makes me happy.

True Blood, people suppressing their asshole genes, freebies, seeing nice shoes, finding money under furniture... That's all great too.

HOWEVER, whilst being hard as nails and whatnot, if I'm overloaded with four or more of the following, I'll class myself as 'having a bad day':

- Missing the alarm and/or bus
- Being late for school and/or being given a detention
- One of my friends having an Asshat Day (AD-Days)
- Bar not serving my favourite food
- No free periods
- Being stuck behind crowds of small, straggling year sevens in the corridor when I really need to get my lesson, assholes and then there's a pile up in the corridor.
- People telling me that I look miserable
- Dropping my money down a drain
- Getting blisters (oww...)
- Nuclear Fallout
- Another celebrity dying

On an average day I get a mix of three of these things.

Today I suffered from not three, but EIGHT of them.

And people wonder why I lack my usual joie de vivre and goodwill to all hen and whatnot.

So sure, if I look down, either let me be or ask me if I'm alright and I'll smile and tell you that I'm absolutely great thanks, and take it as I say it, but DO NOT tell me I look miserable. I'm not, and I will send big evils your way for it.

I'm sixteen, I've got Halloween and Bonfire Night to look forward to, school's great, the world's my oyster and my motto is still laissez les bon temps rouler**.

I'm still smiling on the inside, people.

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* It rains like a pissing cow
** Let the good times roll