Hey, for a moment there I was better at your job than you were.*

*Harsh but true.

You know how I suck at shopping? (Exhibits A, B, and C) I'm feeling a sort of onset of wisdom.

Oh wait. That was the nits.

Kidding. No. Anyway.

I'm in the middle of decorating my mum's house and because I'm a hermit I have seemingly endless amounts of money because I don't go out enough to make a dint in my wages, so I'm totally financing my mum's house right now.

We'd gone to one of the stores that works under the same company as the store I work in to get some paint the other day but we bought wayyyy too much because I've got eyes bigger than my belly and a brush bigger than my bucket too apparently (that's what she said, but she's insane).

The duty manager served us at the till. I know the procedure like the back of my hand because I can spend up to four or five hours at a time working those damn things. I know lots (my managers would disagree but they're insane too) about refunds, returns, sales etc, but I didn't expect me, a mere customer advisor, to be better versed in it than someone who specialises in this kinda shit.

Manager Guy now to be known as Lucky Joe: So I need to erm..

Me *to myself*: Put it back onto the card you originally paid on..

Lucky Joe: put it back onto the card you originally paid on and, erm.. because you, erm.. got it in a sale I- uhh..

Me: Need to refund it at the lowest price.

Lucky Joe: *echo* need to refund it at the lowest price.

Mum: Shit. When did you get so good?

Me: I'm a fucking pro, yo. Though don't tell anyone at work I said that. They think the customers just pity me.

---

No offense to this guy, he was doing fine and I was just being cocky because mostly all the tales from work that my mum hears involve punching, falling and building card towers.

Which reminds me, today at work I stabbed myself in the hand with a pair of scissors because the guy who wanted to view an item was fucking terrifying, so I rushed, the scissors slipped and I nearly lost a finger.

Thanks, Mr. Customer.