Don't get me wrong, it's not like I take any of these exam things seriously.

I'm stuck in the middle of studying for one of the smallest and arguably hardest exams (tomorrow... urhk.) so you're gonna get SHOT.

... Bullets, I mean.

• I told my BFF Main Gay.5 that my dentist was so gorgeous that he could come and go in my mouth as he pleased but I'm taking it all back now. He tightened my braces so my entire face hurts right now. That man will PAY.

• I think I've screwed up one of my exams because I couldn't write fast enough after ten pages of rambling about Lord Of The Flies in my English literature exam. You've heard of writer's lump? I have writer's CRATER on my finger right now. My hand has shrivelled up and died.

• I learnt lots of interesting things about chickens today here and I think you should all go and learn from Maxie because I'll bet you're all itching to know if chickens have sex or not. (Yeah... uhh... you might want to get that checked out)

• After the questionable success of the first cow field party (happens every year) when school finished, we're supposed to be having a second one courtesy of the BFF Main Gay.5 and some other fool, so I may be stumbling around a field in the dark with some cows and a lot of drunk people very soon.

• I have the inexplicable urge to curl up in a corner and die for four weeks (IT CAN HAPPEN).

• It's too hot to wear clothes, which is weird for North England and also sorely tempting.

• I'm addicted to Facebook. It's a disease. I never used to like it this much.

• I appear to be procrastinating.

And with that, I shall leave you, the delights horrors of microbiology, kidneys and osmosis await.