Riot Gear and a Headless Laptop Mechanic

Here at August Rush, we have seen many things... My brother crashing an aeroplane (and a preview of how Northern I can sound)... A dose of my sister's forehead art (Ass... hooooooole...)... Me, swallowing the dregs of my pride and apologising to everyone/everything (No one saw this coming)... It has all been said and done.

Man, I even thought I'd topped the bill when I discovered Paramore Riot Flip Flops.



You have to admit it, you've not seen anything like that before.

So today when I was suffering from a sugar hangover, never to leave my bed again cleaning the house, I really didn't expect to find something that possibly tops all these things.



Meet Hector. Hector Zachery Samuel Wannahockalugi, to be formal.




You want to know Hector.

Hector Zachery Samuel Wannahockalugi is the newest member of my elite team of USB sticks, except Hector (I can call you Hector, right?) is so much more than a stick. Hector is the source of my unparalleled calm when it comes to computer meltdowns. Hector keeps me young. I need him.



Hector fixes all my problems, he's like a headless laptop mechanic.

DO NOT be fooled by the pretense of helpless headlessness, Hector would not want to sell himself short (geddit?). He is headless by option. He has the power to remove his head. Hector is POWERFUL.



It's the kind of thing that makes me want to put y'all at the end of every sentence.

In fact, I'll do it now.

Holy shit, y'all.