When I grow up, I'll fly to the shops on LSD.

So today I was at my grandma's house for Sunday dinner. Sunday dinner is pretty much a boring affair up until the actual eating comes around, so to kill some time I took off to the local shop which I was convinced was just around the corner.

Please note: I have known this area of York all my life and there is not a snowball's chance in hell that I could get lost.

I got lost.

Somewhere along the way, the roads looked the same, I took a wrong turn and ended up back at my grandma's house, crouching in the bushes because I'm far too proud to admit that I'm wrong.

So I took off again.

TWO HOURS LATER, I returned with the damned bottle of coke. And when I found the place, it turned out that truly, it was around several corners.

I got back to base, hobbling in my stupid bloody boots (I'm usually just a trainers and jeans person) with half a two-litre bottle of coke left.

Then whilst watching The Wizard Of Oz, my grandma and me started arguing over whether poppies contained opium or heroin before she announced she'd spent a good part of her life stoned off her tits (ironically, she has none anymore, two strikes of breast cancer) on LSD.

I dived on this information. I'm kinda obsessed with acid.

The long of the short of it is she took tons of acid with my auntie (pretty much every picture I have of this aunt involved her holding spliff, she's so amazing...), was attacked by a vacuum cleaner before being strangled by a turkey, and after that she turned to softer things like vodka and rum.

Happy days.

And then my other aunt and Lil AB arrived and the whole day went to pot.

Lil AB has gone from being a lovely sleepy puppy to an absolute hell hound in the space of about two weeks. He destroyed a broom, ate all the toilet paper and peed all over the kitchen whilst we were eating, and then my sister went arse over tea kettle when he ran under her feet. He's staying with us at Christmas, I actually cannot wait to see him causing hell around our house.

Christmas will be interesting.