I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.

First and foremost, I just checked my blogroll to discover that Lisa from Clusterfook has died. She was really brave and worked with what she was given, so she deserves as much recognition as she gets and more.

Rest in peace.

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Let me introduce you to someone I have known for a very long time, though I haven't seen her for almost three years.

She was about 5"2, dusty blond, kind of spotty and fairly chubby. Oh, and her teeth were slightly funny too, but apparently it wasn't so noticeable as she thought. She went by the name of Nicky, though a few people called her Nicole, and she was 12 years old.

Nicky was pathetic. She frequently missed school out of fear of PE, as the subject and/or teachers made her so nervous she became ill. ALL THE TIME.

Nicky cried the one time she got a detention. In fact, Nicky was so miserable (without reason, in my humble opinion) that she cried all the time. Even the lyrics of Avril Lavigne's Anything But Ordinary made her cry. Her case was that bad.

Nicky had a nervy B anytime MSN flashed up on her computer screen because it might have been him, the boy she was utterly obsessed with at the time - a boy I am at loathe to see every day of my sodding existence at school - Bastard Chris.

When on MSN, Nicky felt nervous starting up a conversation with people, as she worried that if someone hadn't spoken to her already, maybe they didn't want to talk to her.

Nicky spent hours at night worrying that:

1. 'Hi' was too informal.
2. 'Hello' was too formal.
3. ;-) and =P were too suggestive.

Nicky was very easy to manipulate, as you could guilt her into anything. E.g. When she had to get a new settee, she felt so sorry for the old couch that she burst into tears and hugged it.

The same thing happened with the bath. Have you ever tried to hug a bath? Nicky nearly broke her arms attempting that one.

Nicky was so bad a dealing with her emotions that when she was angry at certain aforementioned bastards, she destroyed anything she could find relating to him.

Nicky was a loser.

So after some things that got said/done/undone, Nicky slipped into the blackest emotional hole seen since... well, ever, within my own personal history up to that point, and didn't resurface in any way, shape or form for almost a year.

And that was the last time I saw her.

Since then, this incredible nutter called Nicole (very rarely Nicky) arrived, and life has never been the same. Nicole uses ;-) and =P with gay abandon, she has this freaky thing called a blog to air her various and numerous grievances and she can MSN like there's no tomorrow, in full and precise English. Seriously, there should be medal of some kind for my MSN action.

I don't waste valuable sleeping time thinking about whether people like me or not, and I'm coming up with more creative ways of striking up half-arsed conversation every day. ('LOL. What? I don't know, did you do something funny today?' and 'OMG. What now? It's YOU!' are two of my most recent endeavours)

Saying goodbye is a little bit more difficult to cater for though.

I may or may not have had something really witty to finish this post with, but I'd be amazed if anyone read this far.