Note to Jassie: Your ass belongs to the mafia. [apparently]

I found this pretty hilarious...

Basically, you fill in this letter with the right numbers and whatnot and address it to the person who tagged you, then you tag someone else to do it.

---

Dear (the last person who TAG you),

I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5).
I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory.
You should also know that I (10) (11).

(12), Your name.

1. What's the colour of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I really like you
Black - I dislike you
Brown - The mafia wants you
Green - Our horoscopes don't .
match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - When your dog ran amok
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - Last year
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - At the park
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the colour of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Looking
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Barefoot - Sit on
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Other - Drive out

5. What's the colour of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - At me lovingly
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Iraq
Purple - My mustard souffle
Orange - My Kid Rock collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Frostbitten
Heroes - Open
House - Scarred
Lost - High
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle class

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How happy i felt
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Sad - How boring you are
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this
Nervous - The middle east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks
None of the above - Ashamed

8. What's the colour of your bedroom walls?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - Your photos
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Green - The pictures from LA
Grey - Our matching Snoopy bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Others - The memories in the military service

9. What is the first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your some of your photos
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - Results of your blood sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. What is the last letter of your last name?
A/B - Will tell the authorities about
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will always will remember
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water - Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The moments we had together
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second World War
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you want to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Thanks for the memories
Egypt - Fuck off
France - In pain

---

So, here's my letter to Jassie.

Dear Jassie,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but the mafia wants you. I think I realized it first of May outside of Chicago and I saw you castrate Donald Duck.
I'm sure you're man enough to understand that there is no solution to this. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep your suicide note as a memory.
You should also know that I never openly mocked eggplant fetishism.

Best regards, Nicole.

---

And for this I will tag... Matt!