Down with the kids.

Let me tell you a little story about today...

After a day of waking up unnaturally early, sprinting down one of York's main roads, waltzing around a city that is predominantly grey, smuggling KitKats and Twix bars away from the 'School Of English' and watching Londoners screaming 'it's the end of the world! It's the end of the world!' because of an elephant, I came home, glad to crash and relax for the evening. Maybe I could watch a DVD, listen to some music and get ahead with some work?

Haha. That's a good one.

No.

My family came home from work/school. I'd climbed into bed, not planning to leave for the next sixteen hours or so.

'Are you ready to go?' My mum asks.

'Uhh... Pardon?' I'm stumped, and somewhat incredulous. I'm in bed. I am not ready - or willing - to go anywhere.

Next thing I knew I was walking to the nearest Italian Restaurant to meet the fockers.

Kel, Bunny and Rhiley were there. Bunny was being difficult, shrieking 'poo poo' in such a way that it echoed off of the walls and caused the candles to flicker. Kel was being her usual matter-of-fact self, though she'd suddenly turned into a five-year old doctor, diagnosing everyone with all kinds of far-flung diseases.

Rhiley? Giggly. We made a game whilst waiting for the food. We'd pass him along the table and see how far we could get until he started crying. (He's at that age where he doesn't know if he's laughing or crying.)

The meal was yummy. Poo (my brother...) ate all of Bunny's food because she asked for pizza and then at the very mention of icecream she said she didn't want her pizza and was saving room (clever little three-year old...) for dessert.

Le sigh.

I finished all my food and looked up to see Kel watching me, a twinkle in her eye.

'Nicoooooooole?' She said slowly.

'Yes?' I braced myself, she comes out with some horrific things.

'I know why your belly is bigger than mine.' Well. It could be worse.

I sighed. 'Why's that, Kel?'

'Because you're going to have a baby!' She shouted at me, as if it was news to me. Well, it was. It was also news to the entire restaurant.

I was mortified. I made my excuses... 'going... to see... Rhiley'.

'Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, auntie Nicoooole? You've got a baby in your tummy! You don't need Rhiley!' She jabbered on.

ShutUpShutUpShutUp.