Tuesday 10 March 2009

I'm in a crowd and I'm still alone.



I guess I can kind of see where this guy is coming from. He's different isn't he?

I mean... He's a dolphin, and he's pink.

Well I'm a human, and I'm just weird.

In primary school I was always treated in a annoyingly intensive way because of my supermassive allergies and other Oh Lordy Is She Going To Die Today factors. By the time I hit year five I'd stopped trying to fit in and just rolled with it.

And then because I was an obsessive Lord Of The Rings fan in year six it took three years before I could shake off James FUCKING Grant's various quips and snide comments completely.

Then in year seven I was so spooked by the difference between primary and secondary school that I was ill a lot of the time (like, actually ill) and certain evil a-holes in my form told me that 'everyone knows that you skive off to avoid PE'.

JESUS! I was fat[ter], not a total fucking moron.

In short, I've never been in with any crowd (the Urban Family are extremely diverse people, but we rule). I've never followed trends, I've never strived to be accepted, I've never conformed with something I'm not comfortable with and I've never tried to be something I'm not.

You may also notice that I have a relatively small group of friends, I spent eight days a week on the interwebs (to the point I've started speaking with an American dialect - see Anna for details) and I'm stark raving bonkers.

But, and do you want to know something weird?

I like it.

I absolutely love being me.

I don't know who else to be and I've come to get along pretty well with the annoying narrative in my head.

I frequently say I need a change, or FML, or I'm so bored with life that I could eat myself.

But you know what?

So long as it's me sucking at life, I wouldn't have it any other way.

2 comments:

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

What's amazing is that despite feeling different from the other kids when you were growing up, you've found a place where you now fit in. That's all that matters. The fact that you feel like you belong right where you are.

Jay Ferris said...

I wish I could have had that attitude at your age. Sweet Xenu! I'm almost twice your age but with half the wisdom. I'm either drinking too much or not enough.